And why do some people never feel like using others even though they might gain many benefits if they did so? Here is the quick answer, the way some people developed their personalities forces them to use others in order to maintain their mental stability. I wont ask you to be parniod or to live in fear in order to prevent others from taking advantage of you because by doing so i would be infecting you with another insecurity.
Instead, know that the world has good people and mean ones. That's why you need to be able to understand people better so that you spot mean ones in early stages of your relationship with them. Once you become able to do so you can deal with those mean people the way they deserve while remaining kind to others.
If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself. The Solid confidence program was launched by 2knowmyself. How to deal with someone who hates you at work. Why can a jealous person find you unattractive.
Eventually, you will find that your ability to give is completely tapped out. Once in a while, you might find yourself in the company of someone who is not taking advantage of your kindness because he is lazy or selfish, but rather because it is a strategic plan to undermine you.
Sociopaths have the long-term objectives of exploiting, manipulating and abusing others to serve their own needs. Often those who are high in empathy, kindness and generosity become the targets of sociopaths, say Professor Jane McGregor, Ph. If someone seems to be testing your willingness to go the extra mile with your kindness, or if your gut just tells you that something is wrong, you may be dealing with a sociopath.
While those who offer kindness have the potential to be unappreciated or manipulated, being a kind person does not mean that you have to be weak or a target. It is possible to offer kindness, while at the same time having respect for yourself and your personal boundaries.
The next time that co-worker asks you to take his shift, say, "I understand that you are in a tight spot, but I've got my own needs to attend to as well. I'm sorry but I can't help you out this time. At times it may seem that offering kindness comes with more pitfalls than pluses.
However, it is always better to operate from a standpoint of being kind and compassionate toward others while maintaining your boundaries and taking your time getting to know strangers.
His corporate attorney hired the legal team, attorneys to represent the father and his children, they just found out their father is the beneficiary and not the cousin who they were initially told was. It had caused a lot of emotional distress for one of the children and I know others aren't really too happy about it either.
This has been on going for over 3 years and they keep needing more information and keep getting told its costing them more than what they planned. I don't feel comfortable exposing the truth yet I am feel extremely angry as I watch this born again Christian put his children through this. His lack of consequences for his choices and puts himself before his own children. Your thoughts. Thank you. I wish I could hug you and kiss your head. I would love to kick your brothers butt for what they did to you.
You are very special and were wonderfully made, all of you. I pray that you will see this soon because you are my beautiful sister. We may not be related by blood but my heart tells me we are one in the same and my beautiful sister you will always be.
Supporting members of our community can help create a healing environment for all—it reminds us that we are not alone. Thank you for your comment. Dear Nad, i know it dont seem like it right now but this too shall pass. God wont give us more than we can bare and what doesnt kill us will make us stronger. Ask God to give you his strentgh,his wisdom and to show you his truth. Ask him every day and he will do just that.
You are Gods child and he loves you very much. God bless you child. Though we all come from different religious backgrounds, being able to show and feel support is an important part of healing. Thank you for your comment, Catherine. Is this how all friends act or should I look for new friends.
Hi Sahra, Thanks for your comment. That sounds like a really difficult situation. Obviously you want to be a nice person and people admire that about you, but it seems even your friends will sometimes take advantage of you because of that. It's okay not to always try your hardest to be nice and available for others, especially when this means you're letting others not be nice towards yourself. There is definitely a balance to be struck.
This isn't necessarily how all friends act. Maybe they're not purposefully taking advantage of you and being unkind, but it could be worth having a conversation with them about how they make you feel. If they are your friends, they should be understanding and be willing to respect you in the future. Take care Sahra, Sam.
You ask yourself, where does it all begin? It starts in the now. If you really want to nip this in the bud for real, it will take time. Analyze your friends and if any are toxic putting you down especially consistently cut them out or distance yourself. If they wonder, you can either say upfront the dynamic of your relationship and how it makes you uncomfortable, or play it off and continue the distance.
It depends how brave you want to get. At this time, you are vulnerable and need to control your environment as you continue improving yourself. Next, you will have to pay attention and act on present situations where you can catch your friends in a hurtful scenario. Think how critical this is. You will make mistakes and have your voice shake, but think of the reward. It will make your relationships much better, the real friends will naturally be divided by ones who have ulterior motives.
And you will stop having this poisonous feeling eating away at you. You sound amazing and kind and I hope you find your brave side, I know you have it. These are not friends a true friend would never stand you up at a restaurant and not show up cut you down for any reason if a true friend has a problem with you they would still be kind and discuss things until it is solved Yes you need to find new true friends I hope things get better for you.
I dress and act nicely and politely to see how well they treat me. More often that not, not very well and charge triple what the service is worth. I have one son whom I raised as a single parent. He married into a family with no family values. I decided I am no longer exposing myself to this. My family is structured.
My son went to live with this girl at her home at 16 years ol and her mom allowed it. He had just finished High school bad choice but oh well. N at her place there were no rules! Hi Adrianna, thanks for your comment. That sounds like quite a tricky situation, as obviously you want the best for your son but he is also living an independent life now.
It, of course, must also be difficult to hear that your words are not respected by your son. Perhaps you could have some one-on-one time to chat with your son about what you've written here?
Have you talked about this with him before? If so, what was the reaction? Take care, Adrianna. My family is letting us stay in their house while my grandmother stays at her moms until the unfortunate day she dies. We are living rent free and only pay utilities but my grandma her house wants to have a bunch of stuff done.
Renovations and what not. At first my GMA didn't want us staying in the master, I got her to let us stay there but she only wants us to stay for a year in the room. And then move to a different room. My husband says they are taking advantage of me because my GMA didn't make my mother and her kids do any of that. My husbands says they keep taking advantage. And I know they do but my family prides on family cpmming first and you just do stuff for them.
They've helped me out in the past. I don't know what to do or what to thinn. I have my mother in law staying with us and it was suppose to be temporary few weeks, which turned into months and now over a year and few months!
I have talked with my husband about how she should be helping with hydro, tv and internet if she wants to continue to stay. I want my own space and privacy back. I've dealt with in-laws enough now. I feel lots of frustration and anger every time I see my mother in law and that's not the way I wanna feel. I have neighbors who enjoy taking advantage of my kindness every time they park in my driveway and expect me to excuse them and say: "Oh, that's alright".
When I get mad about the problem they immediately place a guilt trip on me by calling me a "bad neighbor". Another incident is using my outside water faucet when they hook up their own hose and wash their car in MY driveway. Another incident occurred when it was pouring rain outside and the 29 year old male neighbor parked his car in my driveway because he didn't have any rain gear.
I said to move the car out of my driveway. He called me a bad neighbor because it was raining really hard and I wasn't feeling sorry for him. Boo Hoo! Everyone needs someone but when there's no one around it's impossible.
I agree we have to respect ourselves. That being said what happens when you are only surrounded by users and didn't realize that they were? What about those that just refuse to respect you no matter what boundries you set up?
Also what about those who you thought were friends but decided they couldn't help due to their conclusions of you being capable to solve the issue or didn't have time in their life to assist you? What about those, hmmm? What if there were absolutely no one there to help you What then?
Face it, we are all users and are only after what "we want". Inner strength has it's own limitations. To many give advice and don't help with the action part. There are people out there that need help with the action part too. Oh another thing! Why is it that the issue is always with the person seeking help?
They are at least trying to resolve the situation. Respect comes in many forms that have yet to be discovered. If I'm missing the message that you are trying to convey in this blog I'm sorry. Right on. About the people who tell you you can handle it Or the pnes who dont have time Or who listen.. Forexample to go with you.
Or come over.. Yet these people.. No more soak up my encouraging words etc when they call me with a problem etc It takes a while to see these people are like that Then comes the deep hurt I feel.
I get over it with time But sometimes, even serious companies break protocol in pursuit of making us turn to them again and again. A healthy egoist knows what they need and they move in that direction — even if they have some more interesting things to do. First, they finish important tasks and then shift to fun activities. Sometimes people try to get something by affronting others. For example, when they want to get a comfortable seat on public transportation, they start to use their age or position.
The ability to stand up for yourself on time is precious.
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